Two incidents in the same day had me turn, change sides in bed trying to sleep. All day long, I kept moving amidst chaos, meetings, appointments, commitments & every God Damn thing. Until I came to a halt when I was in bed, about to sleep which eluded me. I chased, ran after it. Could not get hold of it, pondered with a childlike guilt about the two events. Regret is the dessert you are served after having done with the main course of mistake. You are not to leave without having savored regret. It is the terminating stage, like dessert its impact is lasting. Yeah! that was my dessert, regret.
Incident One– Got down the local in haste to reach the office of a client in time. Brisk walking the platform, mistakenly I hit a blind man coming from opposite direction. Immediately I cried ‘sorry’, twice. It was a slight touch on arm which had shaken his cane. I turned back to confirm he wasn’t astray. He wasn’t. I kept moving.
Incident Two– The channel partner (of the company that I work for) and myself had to part ways, it was 5:30 PM, light drizzle was on. We were already drenched partly, Mumbai rains spare no Umbrella user, at times Umbrellas are ineffective. Standing under the tarpaulin of the Tea/ Vada Pav shop we shook hands, au revoir. The very same moment a poor child patted my calf, gesturing that I buy something from the shop for him to eat. I moved ahead, ignoring the request. I had to catch the local before rush hour began. I am not miser, I was pacing up to save time. I kept moving.
If you come across me, chances are you would find me a fairly just human being. But when I come across myself, at times when in my own company, in solitude, during a hallow dark night; I count my mistakes and feel pathetic about them. I guess that’s what being a human being entails.
PS- Next day, deprived of sleep I was late for office. Instead of bus had to board an auto. Shelled out extra than regular. Should have bought that poor kid something to eat.